The Process of Transformation
I use to think that transformation was this glorious process where the end result – peace, love, healing – descended miraculously with no effort on my part beyond the asking. Even though I now know better, I still send out those prayers for transformation, naively thinking that I will arrive in the prayed for state unscathed by the process. About a month ago I offered a prayer for healing and the process of transformation unfolded.
My sinuses were still a little congested from a cold the month before so I thought I would ask that they be restored to vibrant health. It seemed like a simple request of my Divine Self, yet, within 12 hours, I was more congested than I had been in years. And it wasn’t just my sinuses that were congested, as I had developed a deep cough as well. So I continued to ask for healing and give thanks for the healing crisis that was developing.
As I continued to get sicker, fever and all, I tried every natural remedy that I could think of – steaming with Eucalyptus, Echinacea, cider vinegar, natural decongestants, the netti pot with colloidal silver, Elecampane, and the list goes on. As the fever broke and I thought I would be on the mend, I continued to cough with a great deal of congestion and I continued to ask and give thanks for the healing.
I think it was after three weeks of this nonsense (according to my mind) that I started getting a little impatient with the process- actually I could better describe it as an inner temper tantrum. Some part of me knew that we were now getting to the nitty-gritty issues underlying my initial congestion, but the other part was just plain frustrated with all the coughing and being tired.
While I could not seem to control the frustrated part, the rest of me moved into a state of surrender to whatever I needed to know or see, that I was not yet able to see. Answers came quickly and I became aware of the ways in which my energy was scattered and non-coherent. I realized that I needed to learn more about how to become more focused and coherent. The next level of lessons had appeared.
I am still coughing a little since my learning is not yet complete, but I am greatly improved. After my awareness, I was given a sign that I was on the right track, a confirmation of my new awareness. As I was driving in the early morning, a white dove hovered in front of my car, so close that I could not miss it. I have never seen a white dove except in my meditation very early in my spiritual journey of awakening. Here it was again but in the physical world now, letting me know that all is well and my prayers have been heard. I am just in the process of the very transformation that I asked for!